We discussed more and more the things that were causing me anxiety.
In the sessions, we also discussed how work was affecting me. How it was causing me stress. I think I felt that work was outside of my control. I’m a fairly structured person who likes to be organised. And I found that I just was not coping well with it. For once in my life, this was something I just could not cope with.
My exhaustion and tiredness was still there during that first week in Chiang Mai. But, maybe because I was not in the busy environment of China, and was not doing the work that contributed to my anxiety, I was finding it pretty chill. More well rested. Sleep was also doing pretty well. It was much quieter there than in China.
Journal Entry ~ 10.7.14
Dr has asked me to do a few things:
- To practice body muscle relaxation. Lie on the bed and practice tensing and relaxing specific parts of my body. Starting from the toes and move up. It’s supposed to teach my brain and body about being aware of tension and relaxation. It’s meant to take 20 minutes, but gets faster as you get better at it.
- To breathe (into a paper bag if available) if I’m experiencing an anxiety panic attack. If there is no bag, then tell myself that I am feeling an anxiety attack, that it does not feel good, and that it will pass soon. Within 10 – 20 minutes.
- Tell hubby when I’m emotional or angry – to give me some time to process things. When to tell hubby to leave me alone – even if I don’t know why – regardless of what it is. Make sure that I am clear about what I would like of him to be doing at that emotional point in time. To be there, or to leave me alone.
Devo: Psalm 121
Probably my favourite Psalm to date.
Always perfect timing for these verses. Father really knows exactly what I need and when I need it. I really feel so blessed by Him. I’m reminded of the truth in these verses. That I need to look to the Son, my Redeemer.
We also did the Stress Test later that day. I scored 103.66. Which was very high for the test. It showed that I really needed to work on quite a few areas that were causing me stress. Work was the biggest area.
I feel so supported by the organisation that they’ve taken me off the ST role. It has definitely contributed to less stress on me. I am slowly learning to not feel guilty for not doing the role, and leaving half way. The people around me and related to the role have all been so supportive. Even the ST volunteers who I left in the middle of their time there.
Things really start to feel better for me. And the journal entries during this time away really showed this.
Journal Entry ~ 11.7.14
I really believe God has been with me and provided me with acknowledgements of His presence. So grateful and comforted to know He has my back.
I look forward to a great day ahead.