So I’ve not given a proper update in a long while. And was wondering what to do about it. Was actually going to vlog it, and still may, but wanted to write something first. To be honest, I’ve been taking a break from emails, blogs, etc. I think with the sudden influx of responses and support (which is all good to me), I was a little overwhelmed. But I think I’m about ready to get back to it!
Anyway, how’ve I been going? Well. I’ve since been back from a trip to Malaysia to visit family and most importantly, my parents. They actually arranged this for me which was such a blessing! I was a little nervous about the trip as a whole as I would be travelling alone, without my hubby. And I’d not done a solo trip overseas since I was 16. Which was a long…… time ago. So, I was a little emotional on the bus to the airport, and on the plane.
So, I was in Malaysia for 2 weeks and it was such a blessing to me in so many ways. Every family member, and friend who I met were so lovely and made me feel so welcome. Most probably did not know what I was going through necessarily, but were so hospitable anyway. My parents were very understanding, and I think them seeing me in the flesh also put their hearts at ease. It was a good time and at the time, definitely what I needed. I was also able to share with some extended family about my struggles and it was just so great. The reaction and support I received was very positive and I felt very encouraged. Thanks to my parents for being so generous and supportive of the rest and family comfortableness (?!) that I needed. Thanks to my dear cousin and husband for allowing me to stay with them whilst I was there. It was such a good break and a lovely home. Thanks also to my Aunt who was so lovely and accommodating at the beginning and end of our trip, as always!
It was a bit of a different trip for me. I felt like I was able to really talk and spend more time with my cousins and family. It was really such an uplifting time overall.
But, glad to be reunited with my hubby after 2.5 weeks. This was definitely the longest we’d been apart since getting married. But at the same time, good that I was able to do that too. To know that I can still do things on my own without freaking out.
So, how’ve been since coming back? I’ve been ok. Got sick almost immediately after arriving back. Flu, then got infections, then got allergic to the medication I was taking for the infections. Had cold sore attacks that I’ve never seen that extreme before. Seriously gross and recurred. Which was so so frustrating and discouraging. It was so uncomfortable and sore. So yeah, had a bit of a down period. I was thinking up how to discribe how I felt, but ‘afflicted’ is the best word for it. A friend sent me Lam 3. And I would encourage anyone going through afflictions to read this and be encouraged.
So yes, more bad days than good in the last month. But having all these allowed me to spend quality time at home. I picked up crochet, cross-stitch and of course, drawing. Love it! Couldn’t believe I could crochet a scarf in like two days… Cross stitch I chose was a huge one…. and it is taking some time to complete. Drawing has been such a fantastic activity and hobby for me. Wow. As Dr said, I need to spend a bit of time daily doing a hobby. It definitely de-stresses me and is actually quite fun. Helps when I have insomnia too. Was encouraged by a friend to do a blog post of my DnA doodles. Might do that, or a video of it next. Will see. I’ve also discovered certain forms of doodling create feelings of stress relief. So I might share that too. Not sure.
Been thinking of vlogging (video logging) my feelings and how the days go for me. Not too sure. But it would be alot easier to do that than to spend ages typing out what I’m wanting to say. Also, it may show people back home how we are going and how life is for us here. Anyway, any feedback on that would be appreciated. Not that there would be much to vlog on…. but still.
I’ll leave you with the encouraging passages I’ve drawn so much from, in Lam 3. The bolded section was especially helpful.
I am the man who has seen affliction
by the rod of the Lord’s wrath.
2 He has driven me away and made me walk
in darkness rather than light;
3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.
4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old
and has broken my bones.
5 He has besieged me and surrounded me
with bitterness and hardship.
6 He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape;
he has weighed me down with chains.
8 Even when I call out or cry for help,
he shuts out my prayer.
9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone;
he has made my paths crooked.
10 Like a bear lying in wait,
like a lion in hiding,
11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me
and left me without help.
12 He drew his bow
and made me the target for his arrows.
13 He pierced my heart
with arrows from his quiver.
14 I became the laughingstock of all my people;
they mock me in song all day long.
15 He has filled me with bitter herbs
and given me gall to drink.
16 He has broken my teeth with gravel;
he has trampled me in the dust.
17 I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.
18 So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the Lord.”
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
28 Let him sit alone in silence,
for the Lord has laid it on him.
29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.
31 For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.
34 To crush underfoot
all prisoners in the land,
35 to deny people their rights
before the Most High,
36 to deprive them of justice—
would not the Lord see such things?
37 Who can speak and have it happen
if the Lord has not decreed it?
38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that both calamities and good things come?
39 Why should the living complain
when punished for their sins?
40 Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the Lord.
41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
to God in heaven, and say:
42 “We have sinned and rebelled
and you have not forgiven.
43 “You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
you have slain without pity.
44 You have covered yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can get through.
45 You have made us scum and refuse
among the nations.
46 “All our enemies have opened their mouths
wide against us.
47 We have suffered terror and pitfalls,
ruin and destruction.”
48 Streams of tears flow from my eyes
because my people are destroyed.
49 My eyes will flow unceasingly,
50 until the Lord looks down
from heaven and sees.
51 What I see brings grief to my soul
because of all the women of my city.
52 Those who were my enemies without cause
hunted me like a bird.
53 They tried to end my life in a pit
and threw stones at me;
54 the waters closed over my head,
and I thought I was about to perish.
55 I called on your name, Lord,
from the depths of the pit.
56 You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears
to my cry for relief.”
57 You came near when I called you,
and you said, “Do not fear.”
58 You, Lord, took up my case;
you redeemed my life.
59 Lord, you have seen the wrong done to me.
Uphold my cause!
60 You have seen the depth of their vengeance,
all their plots against me.
61 Lord, you have heard their insults,
all their plots against me—
62 what my enemies whisper and mutter
against me all day long.
63 Look at them! Sitting or standing,
they mock me in their songs.
64 Pay them back what they deserve, Lord,
for what their hands have done.
65 Put a veil over their hearts,
and may your curse be on them!
66 Pursue them in anger and destroy them
from under the heavens of the Lord.